PDX ASS

In the year or so since I started this blog butt cracks have become much less shocking. Maybe this is only in my mind, but in this super-speed culture a butt crack almost seems demure, sweet really. Maybe it's my location that has me thinking this way. This is LA and pants seem to be becoming optional.
I feel bad though for ignoring the cracks but I blame it on them ignoring me. So I posted to my facebook that I've been a bad bad blogger and I received some interested people with cracks to share. I think this is a good way to jump start my coming back to crack. So to get started, this crack comes from Portland. A city I love so much and ALMOST have myself convinced I could live again (although to be fair, I'd probably be moving alone as Chadd's not too interested). Anyways, an old friend from my spotlight dance days (jazz hands!) sent me this gem. HI CHELSEA!. The story goes like this:

Hey! So... we were out and about with our neighbor one night and I told him about your site and he became obsessed. This is just 1 of many photos... but I'll spare you the pain of the rest. He started walking around downtown with pretty much his entire ass exposed ... but he would keep dropping change then bending over to pick it up in turn sharing his ass with people in restaurants, people waiting for the train, you get the idea.

So these are the kind of people living in the marvelous land of Portland, OR. Not bad eh? And if you'd like to read more from a person who is willing to walk around with a guy who has his ass hanging out AND is willing to document the whole enchilada then check her lovely blog out...http://snowflakesareangelkisses.blogspot.com/

butt bling

now i understand why they call it floss. FTW?

The VP of cracks presents.....

Hi crack heads! I'm Leigha's friend Anj and I am guest blogging about crack. I live in Chicago and you can only imagine how much we love our crack in the Midwest. This summer I saw a fair amount of crack and I thought I'd share a dose of the Chicago style crack. My LA friend Joel and his friend Ben were visiting and most of these crack opps were spotted by them. You can take the crack spotters out of LA, but you're still gonna see some crack no matter what. They were amazed by how crack friendly we are in Chi-town. CRACK ALERT! This one comes with it's own siren. It's like "CAUTION WIDE LOAD". This is one of those proud and loud cracks. Notice the use of vibrant color that only emphasizes the amount of crack contained in those pants.


I bet you didn't know that Chicago had a beach did you? We spend all
winter drinking beer and eating brats so that we can have nice warm
belly rolls. By the time summer comes around were on Lake Michigan
drinking more beer and eating Chicago Style Hot Dogs. But that's not
all you can get at Chicago's North Avenue Beach...




This next one is an import. You're looking at Australian kiwi by way
of Chicago. She obviously hasn't been in Chicago that long or else
her kiwi would be looking more like a bikkie (that's biscuit to an
Aussie!).



Stay tuned next summer for more Chi-bootie! Hoo-roo!
Anj

runner up crack

So my adorable mom's been spending her free time at the beach off the coast of Mass and finally took me a crack pic. I know she's a frequent reader because she sends me cryptic comments never using her real name but until now she had yet to contribute. Let me also say that as far as picture taking goes I'm sort of the family photographer so I give her extra kudos for even having her cammycam with her. Just know folks that this pic (we're talking about you in the blue) is the runner up to the way better man crack that she almost snapped but took too long getting her dusty cam out of her beach bag (love you) so this one is only slightly cracktastic if you zoom and squint but the gem here is that its the first east coast crack featured here on cracknsmack. My only disappointment is that it is not of my mothers crack because if cracks could talk hers would say, yous a wicked sicko ova heeea takin a pictha of ya mothas crack, the red soxs would all be ashamed of yas even tho yas got manny now.
*slight accent exageration for effort. I think it really adds a little extra something, don't ya think?

keep it in your pants

If I was this womens crack I would tell her that just cause it's sunday and you're running errands doesn't mean you can get away without underwear or covering me up. I feel so exposed when you go out in public with me out and it makes me feel very exposed. I know I'm not the prettiest butt crack on the block but you could pretend that you care about my feelings a little.

Party in the back and business in the front

This is a crack blog and that there most certanly isn't crack. However today it's better because today I wanted to post this mullet and goofy mask pic. By the way, much snaps to the lady in the mask. It takes a lot to declare to the world "my ass is so infected with shit that i'm going to spare you the second hand breathe of mine, that may just kill you by wearing this mask". As if that wasn't enough to distract me while standing in line for a half hour waiting for a prescription to be filled, I also got a mullet man wearing a FULL CHAMBORAY outfit. That was the hype shit back in the day when I was in MIDDLE SCHOOL but I guess to a mexi rocking a mullet it's a fashion staple. I have to say, I sorta respect it.

sunny cracks

apparently kings road apartments is the party people in the place to be for pool parties. There's sort of a scene developing of lala girls and tattooed and wanna be frat boys lazing it up in the sun and taking all the damn pool chairs. At least they offer good people (and crack) watching. Last weekend this group camped out like it was there J.O.B. and one of the chicas was muy bleached blond as in platinum (see center) and was perpetrating some kind of accent. The best part was that she was literally and basically NAKED.
I really wish i was a bit more tech savvy and knew how to zoom in on this but it was taken with IPhone and the phone doesn't zoom. Why? WHY? I don't know. Apple just felt like charging 6 hundi for a phone but not including video capabilities, zoom or picture textin with it. But I digress, back to crack.
My sis tried to compete with her but as far as cracks go, she's not nearly slutty enough to take it on this one although she wins in my book for being as cute as a peach and always, ALWAYS dressing in the most current shade of turquoise.